Business Owner

Episode 17 - How to go from Worrier to Warrior with Nicky Thomas

Episode Number 17 is here and Kyla is your host today. She has an amazing interview for you all, with the straight talking, no BS, Nicky Thomas, Leadership & Life Coach and the Founder of We Are Kick-Ass Warrior Women Events.

Both in the military and now as the Worrier to Warrior Coach, Nicky has the innate ability to teach women how to cut out all the battle noise, listen to their inner strength and step up into the Warrior.

Kyla interviews Nicky on exactly what we need to do right now to achieve this and how she ignites the inner Warrior for herself and her clients because according to Nicky, “When women put themselves first, the world wins”.

You will love their in depth chat about:

  • How Nicky transitioned from the Australian Army into Coaching and where this mission of supporting women build their confidence truly originated from.

  • How she felt becoming a mum for the first time and how this impacted her career in the Army.

  • Her biggest challenge when becoming a mother and the best advice she gives all new mums.

  • What the transition from the Army into her Business REALLY looked like when she took the leap and how she blended in with her family.

  • Top tips for blending business and babies and the number one thing we as women need to do to succeed.

  • How she supports women and especially mums “worry” less and tap into that inner voice we all have.

  • Nicky walks through the Core 5 Pillars she teaches in her workshops

and so much more…..

Nicky has incredible freebie she is giving everyone who listens to the podcast so you do not want to miss this episode.

Enjoy the listen and please make sure you drop a note and tell all about what you love most about this episode. We love hearing from you and thank you again for all your support.

To get access to Nicky's FREE Mindset Course then jump in her private group at
www.facebook.com/wearekickasswarriorwomen

You can also check out Nicky Thomas on the following social channels:

Website: worriertowarrior.com.au
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nickythomas_worriertowarrior
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nickythomasw2w/

Episode 17 - How to go from Worrier to Warrior with Nicky Thomas

See the whole transcript below!

Episode 17 - How to go from Worrier to Warrior with Nicky Thomas

Kyla: Hey guys, Welcome in to episode number 17 of the Mums in Biz podcast. This is Kyla. I am the host today and I have an incredible interview coming up for you right now. So as you all know, I relocated back from Dubai to Australia and I met an incredible woman at the very first networking event that I went to back in Adelaide. And her name was Nicky Thomas and she was running an incredible event called "Kick-ass Warrior Woman".

She basically went through a really amazing program that she does, which is the five core pillars of who warrior women are and how they win. And I went along really without expectation, but wanting to meet other incredible women. And boy did I ever, there was a room of amazing women doing incredible things and obviously I met Nikki, so I was so basically overwhelmed and a grateful that I met this fellow coach and she is a leadership coach and a life coach and obviously creator of the "Kick-ass Warrior Woman" and Nicky and I hit it off straight away and I knew that I had to have her on our Mums in Biz podcast.

Kyla:So today I interview her, all about her journey. Did you know or do you know? She was in the Australian army for a long time and I was just so enthralled and loved hearing about her journey in the Australian army, but also her transition out of it into her own business, her learnings. Also blending that with motherhood. She has three children and I just loved, love speaking with her and I really hope that you have some nuggets of wisdom to take away with you and implement right now to help you build the courage and the confidence to take charge of your life. And go after what you want. Enjoy the interview.

Do you have a website?

Emilia: If you already have a website, jump ahead. You don't need to listen to this. However, if you don't have a website and you're either thinking about having one but you don't know how to do it or who to hire or you don't have the money to hire anybody or you're thinking you have all these social media accounts to manage and you really don't need to have a website as well.

Well listen up. First of all, yes, you have all these social media accounts but they are not yours. Your website, however, is your own. It's your own virtual little office, your virtual space to meet and greet people your way. And I also hear you hiring a website designer might seem a bit overwhelming and also too expensive for many of you. I totally get it. And that's why this episode today is sponsored by my online course, Squarespace Startup.

Emilia:I love the platform Squarespace to design websites on because they make it super easy and simple for all of us. They have great customer support, they have great templates and they're just super user friendly. And with my online course you can learn how to design your own user friendly, mobile friendly, and just a beautiful website that helps you grow and scale your business and sell your products or your services. So head over to my website, www.emiliaohrtmann.com and check out Squarespace Start-Up if you want to learn how to design your own website in no time. Let's continue with the episode.

INTRODUCING NICKY

Kyla:Hey Nicky, thank you so much for being on the Mums in Biz podcast.

Nicky :Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Kyla:Oh, I'm so happy. So as I sort of explained in my intro how we met you know, it was quite good and obviously I’m down in Adelaide, you're based over in Perth. It was so good to reconnect and have you on our podcast and sort of chat, cause I was so interested when I was at your event a few months back just about your past really and how you sort of, you know, evolved and how your journey evolved, especially when it came to your career and then moving into business.

So I think maybe let's start off with just sort of sharing, I think a little bit more about your career story and sort of your journey over the last sort of few years of where you come from. I think it really interests people and then where you are today.

Nicky :We met at my event which is something that's evolved over the last, I've been coaching for about five, six years. I actually started out coaching mums. My business was called "Mums can fly fabulous" which was my real passion. Yeah.

When I transitioned from the military into being a mum, I had a really hard time with that transition. And so my initial intention with my coaching journey was to go down that path and help out but I do also think that that market, it wasn't all that suited to my ex-military kind of hurry up, go faster and harder attitude that I had at the time, you know, so I transitioned to being a, jumped around a bit as we do in small business, we tend to pop around a bit, don't we? So I did a bit of health stuff.

Nicky :I was in anemic marketing company for a little while. I jumped across to do some business work and then I landed on leadership because obviously coming from an army background, my leadership skills were pretty refined and that combined with all of my training and I can coaching led me into leadership coaching.

But I tell the story of walking out of a day of training, been training a whole bunch of lawyers on their leadership and how to be better communicators in their work force, things like that. And I remember driving home and going I still feel quite empty. This is not really changing people's lives, but I had this real bee in my bonnet that I never ever wanted to be a life coach. So I was like, I'm not going to be that person. That's just a life coach. Anyway, I did a program and this message of how to go from warrior to warrior has been in me for about six, seven years.

Nicky: And you know, as we sort of went through the process of pulling the information out of me and developing this message, I went, Oh my God, I'm a freaking life coach. Like it hit me really hard that this wasn't just for women in leadership, this was for women in general, you know, so that was about just over 12 months ago, actually. It Its 18 now, I'm just saying 18 months ago now and it's just so amazing and fulfilling and the message is just hitting women everywhere that they're, you know, the women that need to hear it, just attracted to it and getting what I need from it. And yet it's, it's a really great model for them and for me.

Kyla: Wow, that's amazing. And can I like flip back and ask you, what made you first go into the Australian army back then?

Why Nicky went into the Australian army?

Nicky:Oh my God, it's such a funny story. So I basically, I had dated an army guy in my twenties. I had a little bit of an idea about what that was like. And then I was doing martial arts and my instructor had spoken about how he used to train the American military and I was very good in the martial arts space and he would say like: "Oh wow, I think you are going to be my first black belt Nicky." And then I was like, what if I give the the army a go? So I literally joined the army to see if I could make it through basic training.

Kyla: Oh my goodness. Okay. That is hilarious. Why not?

Nicky: I've done a post on it before. People think it was this big, serve your country decision. No. It was let's see if I can do it. And then when I got in there, I just loved it. Absolutely loved it. So yeah, it was one of those that I think, the universe had my back in that space cause I would never have chosen that as a career. I was a very arty kid. Very, did a lot of drama and music and then ends up in the military. You know, it's very different to what I thought I would have done, but I absolutely loved it.

Kyla: And how long were you in the army for? I actually don't even know that.

Nicky: Yeah, that's cool. So I did eight years in a full time army and four years in the part-time army.

Kyla: Right. Okay. Yeah. I've got to say that obviously transition when the babies came along.

How she felt becoming a mum for the first time and how this impacted her career in the Army.

Nicky: Yeah. So when I had my first child, I did what we call part time leave without pay. I'm sure people can would relate to that where I did two and a half days a week and just got paid sort of pro-rate. I think you would call it in the corporate space.

Look, I did that for a while and that's part of the story really about being a mum in business or in the workforce is I felt like I wasn't being very good in my job and I felt like I wasn't being very good as a mum and it would cause a lot of anxiety. Playing half in each of those places. So I ended up leaving when I got pregnant with my second baby and went back to part time and that was great.

That was just, you know, a couple of days a week on a Thursday night or on a weekend if I chose to and a then they sort of gave me a day and a day here and there. It was much more casual arrangement, but it still kept me in some kind of employment so I didn't lose my brain cells.

Kyla:And like the transition from like that into your business? Was it like just automatic?

Nicky: No. So I basically, what happened was at the end of my army career being a girl in the army, you probably get more opportunities to deploy than a lot of the guys because you're in the minority and I always need a female to go and do things. Yeah, you're going to join an exercise and need, you want a deployment so you get to go and do heaps of stuff now.

Right. Sort of towards the end of my career I got deployed and I got to ploy accidentally as the only female on a deployment and it's not meant to happen that way. So I had a lot of interviews with the army psychologist and the people that take down records and things, they were always interviewing me about how I was sort of coping with that.

Nicky: And what I sort of noticed there was that the, I didn't think that the psychology, the psychological support coming back into country after deployment was very effective from a mental health standpoint. I'm very good at ticking sheets, but you know, wasn't that great from a mental health stand point.

And so I, the world savior that I am, decided right, I'm gonna go and study psychology. I'm going to transfer into physiology and I'm going to go and change policies. That was my intention.

Kyla: Oh wow. Okay.

Nicky : I was like let me just save the world because who else is going to do it.

Kyla: Off course one woman at a time.

Nicky : Right, exactly. And I was like, I'm going straight to the top,having no idea what that entailed and how difficult it is to actually change government policy but. So I went, I transferred over to psych core, started studying, you know, my degree, everything was going gangbusters and then I got pregnant, and then it was like that's it and I didn't want to deploy once I had children.

Nicky: So I finished my degree in the part-time military, so I took it over myself basically. From that point when I had my first and my second child I was diagnosed post natal depression. I went to lots of different sites and you know, I was in the field and all of this stuff, but then one day, I don't know, I ran into someone who was a coach and I didn't even know coaching was a thing. And they were the first person that said to me, you have everything you need, Nicky, you can do this. There's nothing wrong with you.

That was a very different message to what I'd been hearing, which was something wrong with you. You need to stop. When somebody come and said actually you have everything you need, you just forgotten how good you are or how capable who you are. I was like give me more of that. And so yeah, I basically found out about coaching. And then I did a four year masters just don't go half in, you know.

Kyla: Amazing. Yeah do the whole thing and then what you transitioned from there into coaching, is that right?

Nicky: Yep.So then I basically when I got pregnant with my third child, I can't stop having babies. I decided no more army. I was really starting to think differently about these points. I was doing my studies and my training. So I decided no more army, I'm going to run and give this business thing a go.

And I laugh when I tell my story about my journey from worrier to warrior. Cause I say every time I sort of get myself sorted, I take on another journey that I feel worried about to learn to get back into that space again. Yeah. So I started up my business, just a small bits and pieces, a little bit of time doing some pro bono coaching, starting to get some paid work and then yeah, it sort of developed it up from there.

Kyla: Yeah, no that, so it's definitely I think how a lot of like natural coaches come to it. They've never heard of it before and then somebody just says something and then it just evolves from there. For sure.

Nicky: I found it just to be a more forward moving modality. I think there's a definite place for psychology and that kind of support. But for me, I wanted people to just really be the best that they could be, which sounds so cliche you know, I didn't want to sit with them for a year on a weekly basis, moving at a slow pace. I really want people to get results, you know, and myself too. Yeah.

Kyla: Yeah. Instead of sort of, I mean that's the same sort of, my thinking about therapy and all that, there's a place for it. But I just don't know if I could sit there and talk about the same thing over and over again and getting nowhere. That's why, I mean like the evolution of coaching and that process is amazing as well.

Nicky: Yeah, Exactly.

Kyla: Yeah. So I'd love to sort of dive in a little bit more in your transition in motherhood because I think we had a bit of a chat about this and how you sort of transition from obviously... Ah, me and then being thrown these babies, well not thrown them, but you know, you've got three babies, right? So that would be like a massive change.

Nicky: It was, it was really, really a really big transition. So basically when I was pregnant with my first child my husband and I were both in the army, so he actually got deployed to Iraq, but our baby was 11 weeks old.

Kyla: Oh wow.

Nicky: And so I ended up sort of, I oh no right. And of course first baby so when the opportunity came up to deploy and he said, what do you recon? I was like, go for it, this is what we train for, you definitely should go, I'll be fine. Not really realizing what I was in for. So yeah, I sort of found myself on my own in Darwin with this new baby because a lot of my friends had been posted out as well. And then, you know, I was put into a beautiful mothers group and I found the community Darwin to be very supportive.

Nicky: But I came from a different culture. When you've been in the military, you speak differently, you think differently, so I felt like I was very isolated and didn't really realize it. But looking back, I had really severe anxiety, but I refused to admit that to anybody because I was tough and could do it all, you know? Yeah. And then my baby got really sick in this sort of tropical weather.

And so that transition from running, I don't know. I was saying the other day when you're in the army and you tell people what to do, they do it because I have to, when you have a baby and you and you put it in the cot to sleep and doesn't sleep, you know, it doesn't do what it's told. So,

Kyla: I'm cracking up laughing.I know exactly. That's why I think it was so funny, like I'm all for routine, right? And I love routines, but when it gets that rigid that there's no shift and there's no flexibility. You have to have some flexibility in everything your life, your business and everything. But for some reason we want to train these babies that have been living inside of us for like nine to 10 months. But we want them on like an eight, eleven, three seven routine type thing.

Nicky: I know and from the first one where I read every book and tried to do it right and was so perfectionist, you know, to the third one where I was like complete hippie, was much easier that way. I was like feed when you want, eat when you want, sleep when you want. But I think that's the journey of motherhood for a lot of people, isn't it? You know, it's a bit of a shock.

Kyla: For sure. No, exactly. I think once you relax into it, obviously the baby relaxes and everything relaxes around you and everything just like flows better.

Nicky: Exactly. It goes a bit easier. Poor little Benny, my first one, I'm like, Oh, I'm sorry.

Kyla: Okay. So three children. Okay. And now sort of starting your business around about 18 months ago, sort of transitioning into that. Challenges you would sort of face?

Challenges Nicky faced during her transition

Nicky: So many. And the challenge allays for me is that I'm a bit of a bullet out of the gates. The challenge always for me is that I want to go fast, you know, I want to do it harder and faster and quicker. And you know, being a mom like that doesn't always isn't always the case. So really having to set very strong boundaries with my business and my family and be very clear on what wasn't OK, that was a big learning curve for me in being a mum in business.

Kyla: Okay. And can you give me some examples there of like your boundaries, like family and work wise and like if they interlink at all?

setting boundaries between work and family

Nicky: Yeah, absolutely. So for example, work wise if I was asked to speak or ask to go to an event, I'd always want to go. I always want to go and then I'd be getting very uptight and very stressed out trying to find a babysitter for the kids or trying to take them with me or whatever it was. And that,you know, energy that that brings that anxiety that brings, just means that everyone was unhappy. My business and my family around happy because of me being the leader there, creating that. And with boundaries for the family I had to get very good, cause to work from home, literally from an office in my house.

Nicky: And so, you know, people think they can just drop in whenever they like or ask questions or can you just do this? Or "Mom, can you just go grab this from school" or "Honey, can you just hang the washing out". And so I had to be really good at saying, no, actually I can't. This is my work space, Can I come into your work space and say to you, can you just go home and hang the washing out? Well, no I can't. So you may not do that to me either. And so I had to get really firm on what was okay and what wasn't whilst mommy was in the office.

Kyla: Okay. So actually doing that and putting it practical. So somebody who's like listening to this today and thinking, Oh my gosh, I just can't say no to anything. I say yes to everything and I'm frazzled and overwhelmed. Business isn't growing or even getting anywhere. What would you say, like how would they build their confidence up? Or how did you to actually have the courage and the confidence just to say, no, I'm sorry, this is not sorry. I should say this is my business time. This is family time or whatever it is.

Nicky: Yeah. Well, firstly, I mean this is gonna sound really connie, but firstly, I would say get a freaking coach.

Kyla: Ah....

Nicky: Yeah, because I had to and I teach this stuff now, but because teaching it is easier than doing it. It's very easy to say you need to set those boundaries of women will say, Oh yes, I've definitely say: "You can't come in".

But that pinch, I tell a story about sitting in my office one day and my husband and my family were getting ready for a house inspection we were having. And so they were all out in the house cleaning, washing, sweeping floors, and I was sitting in my office working and that felt horrible when the boundaries don't feel as good as you want them to feel. And I was like, Oh, I should just get up. Oh I should, I could just go, I could just do half an hour, you know, and it's yourself that you're actually fighting with. It's not them. Cause they were all very respectful of the boundary. But it was me who was like feeling guilty about it, you know?

And so that is I self discipline, it's a self discipline, I say to people, you either choose to feel guilty now or you choose to feel resentful later and the resentment is a lot more damaging.

Kyla: Yeah, for sure. And then it results in not getting what you want, which is thriving business or whatever it is. Yeah.

Nicky: And this is where a lot of the blame comes up too because if I had gotten off my seat and go on and help them, I would have been able to say, well, I couldn't do that thing in my business because I was helping you guys, you know? And it actually was my choice, not their fault. And I think that's a lot of the thing with being a mom and a wife and a business owner is that some, it's harder for us. We feel like we need to do it all

Kyla: Yeah. And be there and do everything at all at once.

Nicky: Exactly. Yeah, that's right.

Kyla: Yeah. Interesting. Okay. So I know that obviously your passion is moms and I love it. I mean it caught me straight away, at your event anyway, going from like worrier, so obviously worrying everyone to a warrior as in, you know, basically your own hero and going out and actually doing it. And you talk, I remember, especially at your event that you talk a lot about that inner voice and trusting in that. And I remember also you're going through like a core five pillar or five pillar core. And I'd love to sort of just go through that like and just briefly now for everyone and maybe I can take something away and really sort of implement something, you know, today.

Core 5 Pillars she teaches in her workshops

Nicky: Yeah, absolutely. So we have what's called the five core pillars of who warrior women are and how they win.

I run that training in my Facebook group for free. I don't put it in any of my paid courses or my personal coaching because it's, I give it to you guys for free cause it's a basic standard to live by. It's a basic set of tools, you know, to know when you're on track or how to stay on track.

So the five core pillars, number one is preparation. And the tag for that is to prepare for battle but aim for peace. And we talked about the four core areas of life, which is health, heart, home and hustle. So your business, your spirituality, your relationships, and your physical health. Yeah. When I say prepare for battle, aim for peace, it's like do everything that you can to be prepared for what life might throw at you, which is challenges and opportunities.

Nicky: So if you're in business, often will be given an opportunity. But we've sort of thought we had all this time or thought "I'll get onto that later". And it's be prepared for the fact that maybe someone's gonna ask you to come and do a speaking gig and maybe someone's gonna ask you join them in a program. Or, someone's going to ask you for some of your product or whatever and try and be as prepared as you can for opportunity.

When it comes your way you want to be able to say yes. . Without having any excuses in the way. And also like I was talking about the battlefield of life, the battlefield of life is going to throw shit at you and you get that. It's how we grow. It's how we learn and it's how we learn to be resilient and adapt.

Nicky: And so taking good care of yourself, making sure that you're at the center of your care circle means that you know, when you are throwing a challenge or a battle that you have to fight, then you are in the best shape that you can be. You know, both spiritually, mentally, physically to go into battle.

The second one is, is the courage to know yourself and to own up to it. So the work that I do here is talk about is everybody has this moment in business where they feel like a fraud. I'm sure all your listeners can relate to it. Like, Oh, what if I'm found out? You know? So to have the courage to know yourself and own who you are unapologetic ally. So you know the story that I tell about this one is, I always thought that my brash down to earth, my swearsy, say-it-like-it- is attitude was a real negative.

Nicky: It's always sort of told to be a bit more polite, be nice to be more professional. When I threw the full me out into the world, that's when people started to really resonate with me because it was authentic to who I was. Yeah. So then being willing to show up. So having the courage to show up as yourself basically, which is much easier than it sounds.

Pillar number three is focus. And this is a big one and this one is to march at your own pace. So it's like to go at your own pace. And as a mom in business, I think this is so important because like I said before, I always wanted to go faster, like as fast as the people that were building these booming businesses. But they had no family, you know, and so I was trying to keep up with them and then I'd beat myself up about not being able to.

Nicky: And so to being able to accept that some days are just non negotiable days with the kids. Like you know what I mean? Some days are slow, some days I'm just going like one foot in front of the other and some days I've got all the energy in the world to go a million miles an hour. I don't have a consistent pace, but go at your own pace.And the story I tell about this is even, you know, it as someone who wants to go a bit faster, sometimes people will say slow down. But I think this is again, tapping into yourself and knowing when you've got the energy to go full on and when you need to stop or slow down because I certainly, I'm an interval runner. I don't go at one pace all the time.

Nicky: So go at your own pace and be able to check in with you on what that is.

Kyla: And huge self-awareness I think in that piece.

Nicky: Absolutely. And being able to give yourself permission to go slower as well. And on that note, it's like go at your own pace, but don't judge anybody else for going at their pace.

I used to do comparison a lot and get quite jealous of people that were doing more come and go like I should be going faster. Or then if someone said, Oh no, you have to slow down. And then I'd be jealous of them and go, Oh my God, I have to go slower. But it's like go at your own pace and celebrate everybody else for their own pace as well.

Nicky: Well, so pillar number four is agility. And this is the permission or to know that you can change your mind, your direction or your desire at any time. I think sometimes we can maybe stay on a path along the than we want to because we said we would sometimes we've been brought up in an environment or a culture where it's just get a normal job, a real job. Just be safe. Make sure that you've got everything sorted and just be happy with what you've got.

It's actually ok to be happy with what you've got and to want more. I say, the ability to change your mind. People that have stayed in jobs for far longer than they wanted to because it was the right thing to do because they spent money and time on an education because, you know, like I did a whole Physc degree.

Nicky: I don't use any of it and I've never been a person that cared about sort of throwing away money, or spending money on something and then changing direction. I was like, yeah, of course. That was great. I loved learning all about that, but it's certainly not something, I don't use it as the qualification now. You know what I mean? So I think sometimes if you've studied for something for years and years and then you're "Oh I should stay in the job because I've done that".

One of the this pillar is to be able to be agile and say, you know what? It doesn't light me out. Get one shot at this life and you know, do what lights you up. And pillar number five is called leadership. And that is about being able to stand alone while still loving your child because you'd be able to relate to this one as well.

Nicky: When you decide to do something different or you decide to show up as who you are and stand in your truth, you can get a little bit of rejection from people around you. I know I've got a lot of confusion and rejection when I started on this personal development journey when I was originally started ro do coaching and you know, friends of mine where like... Why would you even do that? I wouldn't pay $20 for a coaching session because they didn't get it. It wasn't in the value set, which is fine, but what continued to happen is then we feel upset or offended that everybody's not getting it, that everyone doesn't understand that we want to do something different.

Now this pillar is about knowing that you can choose something different and that not everybody has to understand it. To love them where they're at and parents, siblings, friends, people are gonna have opinions on it and that's OK, you don't have to take it on. And my advice in that space is they get to have their own opinion, but they do not get to hold you back.

Kyla: Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. And you will lose people along the way.

Nicky: Absolutely.

Kyla: Gain people who will lift you up or be in your circle, are like minded who want the same thing. So it will be the closest people to you. Usually who have that negative opinion. Maybe you figured something inside them. Maybe you know, they're jealous, you just don't even know, but it's also not, it's not for us to make that opinion and to make that assumption of them anyway and to judge them, like you say.

Nicky: Yeah, exactly. And it's like well you can come along with me or not, but the analogy that I use for this, and it wasn't mine, I heard it somewhere else. Someone has told baby story before. When you're a fruit tree and you're growing and you're growing and new fruit ripens at the top, the fruit on the bottom naturally falls away and the tree doesn't go away. It didn't reject the fruit. It didn't say, yes, get off me the check that things just naturally fall away. And it's the same for us in life. I think we hang on to friendships sometimes for what they used to be, not what they are now. And friendships naturally evolve and naturally fall away. And if you're all someone who's into business and personal development, you're going to evolve in a different way than people who aren't.

Kyla: Oh, I love that. I love that so much. And I know that you do that a lot obviously in your trainings that you do live. And that's where obviously I first heard that when I went to Nikki's training a few months ago. That's amazing.

Okay, so let's flip and ask you a couple of general questions. I'd love to know the best advice that you'd give to any woman trying to blend motherhood, career or business together for the very first time.

Top tips for blending business and babies and the number one thing we as women need to do to succeed

Nicky: My number one piece of advice, and I sort of jumped around this question a lot, people ask me this question a lot… Is to get your boundaries sorted.

So to know what is okay and what is not and to understand the consequences. To understand what a boundary is and what it isn't. Because I think we've been a little bit conditioned to think that when we set a boundary, people will follow them, but they don't and they neither do they have to do, it's not up to them. It's up to us. So definitely to sort out your boundaries, like what's okay with you and what's not, what's families time, what's business time. And of course there's always going to be a little bit of overflow. I find that anyway, but I'm very clear on where my family goes and where my business goes and being able to put myself first when it's business time.

Kyla: Yeah. Okay. Amazing. Alright. And getting a little bit personal, do you have a big goal for like the next year?

Nicky’s big goal

Nicky:I bloody do, I have a big goal, so you know that I do speaking gigs here in Perth every month and I've been traveling around the country doing events and my big goal is to speak in front of a big crowd. So five hundred to a thousand people was my next goal. So I don't know how that's going to manifest, but yes, I'm like, that's where, that’s what I put out to the universe. So if anybodies listening and needs a speaker for a crowd of women who you need to get into their warrior energy....I'm your girl.

Kyla: Yeah. Okay. Amazing business chicks might be calling. And at the moment, do you have anyone that inspires you at all or are you listening to anything on the podcast or reading anything at the moment?

podcasts, books and inspiration

Nicky: Yes. So, Oh gosh, I'm always reading about four books at once. I'm actually reading the Russell Brand book: "Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions" at the moment because I like how he re frames things and so many women inspire me and different women too. Like Denise Duffield Thomas is one that I think is, she's so different to me. She's so chilled and her “Chillpreneur”, her book really is something that I need to hear cause it's not my natural way of being and I'm much more stressed and rigid and faster. So to hear that message is really beneficial to me.

But then also people like Noami Sims and Janine Ellis and things like that and people like that, things like that. Like, God, I hope they never hear that. You know, women who are showing up in a path, what's wrong way.

Nicky: I just think there, so women that are inspiring and I tend to, at the moment I'm trying to listen to more Aussie pod casters because there are so many from the U S and I think we just have a little bit of a different culture here. And I love, I think my tribe, the people, the women that are attracted to me love that I put coaching and personal development into really, you know, simple kick ass basic terms. And so I'm trying to get onto more Aussie podcast as well. So I do listen to Craig Harper a lot.

Kyla: Oh yeah, I've just got it. Yep. .

Nicky: Oh, he's great is’nt he? Just and Aussue bloke, i think there's a big market there as well. So many Aussie blokes that don't go towards personal development because of the, woo woo of it, you know, and just being able to speak out, just speak, think in that down to earth tone. So that always brings me back cause I can a bit American if I'm listening.

Kyla: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. No. Okay. And so a couple of quick round questions to finish up the podcast today. So favorite apps at the moment, either business apps or family apps to keep yourself organized.

favorite app, food and country

Nicky:So my favorite app at the moment is called Slack. And you might've have heard about it. Just like a tasking app. I cause I use it with my VA and then it's like right on time. It's like right now here we go, we just get things done very last minute and very quick.That's probably one that I use the most. Then of course all the social media apps.

Kyla: Yeah. Favourite country or place to travel to?

Nicky : Is Canada. I went on a, I actually deployed with the military to Canada and I absolutely loved it. I couldn't sleep there. So yeah, I always talk about going back to Canada.

Kyla: Canada. Okay, amazing. And we were just talking about food before we pressed record. So number one take out order if you have takeout or

Nicky:Do you know what at the moment? My number one uber eats, is Vietnamese soup. I think you say pho, you know, P, H, O. It's like Vietnamese noodles soup. It's delicious. I'm addicted to it right now.

Kyla:I love that. Okay. And the last one before, obviously you went into the army and now you're an amazing coach. But what did you want to be when you where little?

Nicky It's so say funny. I want it to be either a famous actress or a teacher.

Kyla: Oh amazing. So the influence.

Nicky: Yeah, exactly. And I kinda go live. Kind of creating that for myself now actually.

Kyla: Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Okay. So I also know that you've got a little freebie. It's not a little freebie and amazing freebie for the audience today or for our listeners. So if you want to just let them know what they, where they can get you. I know that you're also on all the social media platforms, so definitely let them know that. And I'll put everything in the show notes.

incredible freebie - 5 day mindset course

Nicky: I can't remember which freebie I said. Did I say the five day free course?

Kyla: Yes, that's it. Yes.

Nicky:Beautiful. Okay. Let me make sure I get the right ones. So the five day free course it goes through every single pillar that I've talked about today. And on every pillar you get either a resource like a I do a webinar, there's a worksheet to go through all that or a little guided meditation, something like that to go through to really get you to understand anybody and more importantly apply each of the five principles into your life. So I run that within my Facebook group, which is called, “We are kick-ass warrior women” and all you have to do is join the group. And you'll see when the next course is running. And if you do join the group from this podcasts, just pop me a hello, say that you're from the podcast and I'll be happy to hook you up with a couple of other free things that I've got.

Kyla: Oh, so cool. Okay. And then you're hanging out mostly. Are you hanging out more on Instagram and then within your group at the moment? Would they be two good places to catch you.

Nicky: Yeah, More on Facebook because I just do a lot more training. You can do a live training and stuff, but I am on Instagram daily, so yeah, come connect with me at sneaky Thomas worrior to warrior.

Kyla: Totally. Yeah, I will. I'll definitely put the links in the show notes, but thank you so much. Thank you for being on today.

Nicky: Yeah, thanks for having me. I love talking.

Kyla: Yeah. Yes so do I, it's the worst, I have to be quiet there for a while because it's so good to hear from you, but it's, it's hard. It's really hard. We did, we did for sure and everyone can connect with you and I'll put everything in the show notes and thank you for being on and I'll speak to you soon.

Nicky: Beautiful. All right, thank you so much. Thank you. Bye bye.


Connect with Emilia and Kyla

Emilia Ohrtmann
Website Designer & Consultant
Website: www.emiliaohrtmann.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/emiliaohrtmann
Facebook: www.facebook.com/emiliaohrtmannco
Youtube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCfo4H-IQ91K7WrjbOwn34ig
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/emiliaohrtmann

Kyla Neill
Business Coach + Mentor
Website: www.succeedinginheels.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/succeedinginheels
Facebook: www.facebook.com/succeedinginheels

Episode 12 - Creating Your Business Essentials in 5 Steps

Creating Your Business Essentials in 5 Steps | Emilia Ohrtmann

In this episode Kyla and Emilia talk about the fun challenge they held in their online Mums in Biz Facebook Group last month. They had such fun jumping on daily “lives” within the group to take them through a five step process to get their members to rethink their business, re-energise and motivate them.

Defining or Redefining Your Business in 5 Days is the perfect way to increase clarity within your business, have a clear direction, tap into your WHY and really map out what the rest of 2019 is going to look like for you.

We tend to get so focused on working “in” our businesses and rarely step back and work on how we want to show up in the world as entrepreneurs. This challenge was perfect to uncover some aspects maybe you haven't thought of before or properly defined.

The steps covered were:

Your Vision Statement
Your Ideal Customer
Your Onliness Statement
The Business Essentials
Your Mission Statement

Grab a pen, your journal and a quiet space and take notes and challenge yourself to get clear on your business.

Enjoy the listen and we will see you next time.

Episode 11 - How She Did It - With Helen McGuire Co-Founder and MD of Hopscotch

How She Did It - With Helen McGuire Co-Founder and MD of Hopscotch | Emilia Ohrtmann

In this episode Emilia interviewed Helen McGuire, the Co-founder and MD of Hopscotch. Helen launched Hopscotch in March 2016 whilst seven months pregnant with a mission to enable professional women to play a part in the workplace, no matter what their personal commitments. The company now employs a strong team across its offices in Dubai, Singapore and Hong Kong; has grown a community of over 75k women and works with multinationals to SMEs in order to secure jobs, initiatives, skills sessions, events and training for women and companies. Helen is a lead member of the UN Women’s Empowerment Taskforce in the UAE, speaks regularly at Forums regionally and internationally, and is a mum of three little ones.
In our interview we talked about her very inspiring story of how and why she started Hopscotch, how she grew so quickly, the importance of press, how she moved from Dubai to Singapore and started Hopscotch there and of course how she managed doing all this while being pregnant and now having three little ones under 5 and so much more. She also shared her insights and recommendations around PR.

There was so much more goodness so dive right in and listen to Helen’s story, insights and advice.

You can connect with Helen and Hopscotch here:

Website: hopscotch.work/
Instagram: @hopscotch.work

She also mentioned the book The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennetts and the Women’s Empowerment Principles ungcuae.org/womens-empowerment-principles-weps/ which is an initiative to enable businesses to empower women in the workplace, marketplace and community.

Episode 7 - How She Does It All - with Janine Bensouda, Business Owner, Mom And Triathlete

In this weeks episode Emilia has interviewed Janine Bensouda, a double business owner, single mother, long distance triathlete and just a true power woman.

Janine has been an entrepreneur for 12 years. She is the owner of Bensouda Management Consulting in the UAE, she is also the co-founder of 2Women a movement to inspire women and men alike to become the person they want to be through masterclasses and workshops. Janine is also a single mother and competes in long distance triathlons.

In this episode they talked about Janine's story as a business owner and mother. In particular how to improve time management as a mother and entrepreneur and pursue a hobby. Janine shared her wisdom on how to do everything we truly want to do, how to follow our dreams, how to see the positive in life, how to have the right mindset and how to inspire.

You can connect with Janine here:
2women.ae/
www.bensoudaconsulting.com/
Instagram: @janinebensouda

Episode 4 - How She Did It - With Danielle From The Salad Jar in Dubai

In this episode Emilia has interviewed Danielle Sallam, the owner and founder of The Salad Jar.

They talked about how Danielle got started, what her biggest struggle was and is, about her future plans, how to start and grow a food business, how The Salad Jar gives back to the community, about her daily routine and how she makes sure she spends time with her kids and looks after herself in her very busy life.

The Salad Jar delivers salads in a jar right to your doorsteps, 6 days a week and you can order just one salad or pre-order for the whole week for your whole office.

This is a great episode and it shows again that all successful entrepreneurs and mums have a super strict schedule, have big dreams and just go for it.

Enjoy listening and let us know your thoughts!

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This is where you can find The Salad Jar:
www.thesaladjar.me
www.instagram.com/thesaladjar.me

Episode 3 - 5 Steps To Start Your Business | Emilia Ohrtmann

We have a juicy episode for you this week. If you are looking to start your own business, re-branding or just need to refine what you are already doing this is for you.

This week Emilia interviews Kyla on five key things to look at to ensure sustainability in your business. It was adapted from a seminar Kyla did at the Global HR Summit in Dubai, November 2018.

Here’s what was discussed:

- Clarity, know why you want to start your business and how to get it.
- Commitment, plan and strategy, money, how much time can you give your business
- Understanding your audience and finding your ‘genius zone”
- How to get seen and make an impact
- How mindset play a HUGE factor in your success as a business owner and what you can do right now to strengthen that.

Some books which were recommended reading and were discussed in the interview where:

The Big Leap – Gay Henricks
Crush It – Gary Vaynderchuk
High Performance Habits – Brendon Burchard

Also, Kyla mentioned a Sales Summit she is currently doing with Tiffany Peterson, please head over to the link here to find out more. salessummitseries.com

Until next time.

Episode 2 - 6 Tips To Keep You Motivated As A Business Owner

This episode a great one. Do you feel like you’ve lost some of your business mojo? You know that fire inside you that was lit when you had your very first business idea. If the answer is YES, then don’t worry. You are not alone. In fact, it’s totally normal to feel like this throughout the different phases of your business journey.



We have narrowed down six tangible tips for you to take away and implement to get your business back on track:

  1. Anchoring into the ‘WHY’ of your business vision

  2. Letting go of what went wrong and focusing on what can go right

  3. Refining and elevating your goals for motivational impact

  4. Celebrate your success!

  5. Partnering with like-minded individuals or groups, or engaging a coach or mentor to introduce accountability

  6. Getting inspired

With so many little nuggets of wisdom to be had, we hope this episode inspires and motivates you to change things up and provides you with some clarity as we head into March.

We hope you love this episode. We certainly loved recording it for you and had a lot of laughs doing so. Please feel free to leave a comment and/or connect with us at the below channels.

See the whole transcript below!

Episode 2 - 6 Tips To Keep You Motivated As A Business Owner

Emilia: Welcome to episode number two of the Moms in Biz podcast. Before I dive into our topic for today. I just want to thank you or we want to thank all of you for listening to episode number of one. 

Our launch was super successful, we think and we got so many nice reviews and feedback from all of you that you love the episode and got some constructive feedback. It was great. Thanks a lot for that and keep it coming. 

Give us your feedback. It really helps a lot. And leave a review on iTunes and soundcloud. Rate us. It really helps us. 

So today we are together again, Kayla and me, and we want to talk about a topic that is super close to our heart and that is how to stay motivated as a small business owner. 

We've both been business owners for a while now and we know what it's like. Motivation can drop. It's easy to get a bit discouraged sometimes, especially when you're working alone and from home, which is often the case in the beginning. So we want to give you six tangible tips on how to stay motivated.

Anchoring into the ‘WHY’ of your business vision

Kyla: Good morning. So I think we're going to start off a little bit by sort of back pedaling and looking at the number one tip that  has come up a lot, it's come up with me and especially this week we were just discussing it. The topic of WHY? 

So thinking about firstly why you have started your business, or why now is the time to grow your business. And I think tapping into that is so important. Before you get into any of those other sorts of more tangible tips. And I think thinking about it, I mean there's hundreds of why’s.

I don't know about you Emilia, but there's hundreds of Why’s that I come up with with why I started my business in the first place. But it could be something like being so passionate about your business that you want to get it out there.

It could be financial wise, wanting that financial freedom. Who doesn't want to earn money for themselves working for themselves or it could be a philanthropic. Why have you want to give back more? There's something bigger. You want to be involved in charity work or you have the money to be able to give away to charity...

Emilia: and also have flexibility in your work timing. That's a biggie for me. 

Kyla: Is that a big a biggie for you when you first started? 

Emilia: Yeah. 

Kyla: So it's tapping into it. So I suggest sitting down and writing down exactly why you want to start your business or why now is the time you want to spend more time with it, to grow it and then look at ways to actually look at your time management and then look at how to stay motivated as well. What so you think?

Emilia:    Yeah. I think for me, a huge way to keep myself motivated is to remember why I started because I have already started. I started almost 10 years ago with my first small business. So, and then this business I started three years ago and if I'm not so motivated, I remember why I first started.

And you know, what I really do is I feel it, I close my eyes, I sit down, I feel the excitement of when I starting first, the excitement of having that first client. So I think that's the motivation comes back easy because you remember why you do, as you remember your vision and that's a little bit going into the future. It's the same thing, but you think about your vision. So sit down, close your eyes, think about your big vision for the business. Maybe it has changed over the years, but think about it and that will motivate you again.

Kyla:    Yeah. And talking about vision, pop it on a Vision board, we have spoken about this so many times and look at putting your vision in a visual format that you can hang above your desk as a vision board. 

You can even break it down into writing. So the three columns of the BE, DO, HAVE system, which is what I do. who do you want to be? What do you want to do and what do you want to have? 

And the have is the most difficult bit, I find with a lot of people, because it feels a little bit greedy and selfish, but it's so important. You need to have that clear, clear vision and anchor into that Why? 

Because it's what's going to keep you motivated when you get rejections from clients, people don't buy your products, you hear crickets, you write emails and no one responds to you. You need to stay anchored.

Emilia:    Yeah, I agree. And it's also usually when you start a business your motivation is super high and then you get good feedback. At the beginning you have probably friends and family who are buying your product or service. You get referrals in the beginning because everybody's excited for you and it's the start up period. Then after a few months or weeks or whatever it is, that slows down usually because all your friends have bought your products. 

Maybe, they have been to your markets or to your store, to your online shop or to your website and then the motivation drops and things might not work out the way you thought they would. And we have both been there and it's super easy. And then it's good to remember why you started and look at your vision board and remember. Yes. That's why, 

Letting go of what went wrong and focusing on what can go right

Kyla: Yeah. Sort of drives into the next topic. And the next tip really about failures and learning from them. I'm not sure whether I like that word. I like the word learning. I mean I certainly failed a lot at the beginning of my business. A lot of rejections, especially because I was a one-woman-band trying to go after HR contracts, which was my business at the beginning and I think they probably saw me working alone and not having a tenure and they were unsure about this entity even though I had referrals. 

But you know the way you then put  proposals together and how you conduct client meetings. Sometimes it can go completely pear shaped, but there's always a learning in it.

I think it’s never ended,  to be honest with you, I still feel like startup and I still feel like I'm learning every day.

Emilia:    Yes. But it's so important to forget about those failures. Right. And move on to work on your why, your goals consistently. I've made so many mistakes and I've had lots of failures as well. For example, with my very first business, we were selling children's clothes and we went to all these local markets and we went to markets where we didn't sell a single piece or maybe our husband bought like one piece or my mom was a really good customer, for example. So it was awful to be honest. But still we kept on going and we forgot about the markets and tried the next thing. 

So forget about your failures and move on. And also one part that I always say for branding also in writing in general is to stay consistent no matter what.

Because if you stay consistent, you will succeed. Keep on trying new things, keep on developing new things, learn from the mistakes, tap into the why it was a mistake or why was it failure, why it didn't work out and then learn from it. Try something else. Because what's the number, the number of the failures of small businesses or startups?

Kyla: 90%

Emilia: The 90% is super high. 

Kyla: Exactly.

Emilia: But if you are the one who stays consistent, let's say there are five people opening a store like your own, they all fail because they give up too early, you are the one who tries new things and just stays consistent. You're the ones that succeeds.

Kyla: It's that consistency is key. I'm know loads of people who have open businesses, consultancies or product based businesses who have closed within 18 months, two years maybe at the maximum because it's too hard.

At the end of the day rejection is hard,  being told no is hard. You've got to hear it because I think that's where your grow, while you learn what your audience wants. You learn what your customer wants…

Emilia: and without that you wouldn't get constructive feedback 

Kyla: ...and it's the best. It is awkward sometimes when you get those emails and they're not so clear, then you've got to look at it and take away the bits that you can learn from it and just not sit in that worry that you'll never have a client or a customer again.

Emilia: Exactly. That's why we also ask for your honest feedback on this podcast.

Kyla: Really. So I think the next big question is like goal setting to keep you motivated. So how does that keep you motivated Emilia/ When you're sort of sitting down and looking at your goals and then how does it keep the motivation going?

Refining and elevating your goals for motivational impact

Emilia:    You know that I'm a huge fan of goal setting. I know you are as well. I'm a huge fan of actually having one goal at a time. So I have one big huge goal, which could also be my vision and my mission for this business. And then I break that down into smaller goals. 

I break that down into one goal for one year, or one goal for one quarter and that  into a goal for two weeks only. And then I have my, you could call it to-do lists, but I don't do that anymore because to-do list tend to be endless. So I call it specific tasks that I have to fulfill in order to reach this goal. 

And this could be a goal for two weeks and then I reach it and then I work on the next goal for two weeks and overall those two goals work for my quarterly goal. If you break down one big goal, it makes it a lot more tangible and more reachable. It feels that it's actually possible to achieve that goal and that keeps me motivated. 

If I reached those goals step by step and I slowly climb up the ladder towards my big goal, that keeps me motivated. It's nice when you achieve something and something works out because of other things. Yeah, it keeps me motivated big time.

Kyla: And I think we got to also not confuse daily tasks with goals because I think this is where the blurred vision happens. We think the 10 things that we wrote down to do today are the goals but that’s not it. It should be free. Your goal is that end point, what do you want to achieve? And then that's broken down into tasks that you need to do each day or to do each fortnight or month to be able to achieve those goals. So I think that not getting that confusion there. 

Emilia:    Yeah, it's actually quarterly goals and then every two weeks I have a new task that I work for.

And you know what I remember every day is that I sit down and say, is this going to bring me closer to my goal for this quarter? Is this actually gonna make the money that I need to make and I am concentrating on the right things today?

Kyla:    Yeah. Because the key is moving closer or is it keeping me in the same spot. Now I think writing down your tasks… Do you like writing or do you like using an app? 

Emilia: No. I write. I use my calendar a lot, but mostly to block time for everything. 

Kyla: Time Blocking yes.

Emilia: To work on my goals. I use a traditional old planner and it was funny because a few weeks ago my dad saw this planner and he was like, wow, you're so digital with everything, but a traditional planner. It helps me to, it's more visual I think. And there is something about this act of writing something down, you remember it more.

Kyla: There’s  a connection between your hand and the brain. There's a science behind actually writing it down. It's a bit like when you do your exams, your assignments and you write them down, you absorb the information a lot better. I do the same time blocking and then writing down what tasks I need.

Emilia:    Oh, okay. Do you review your days? 

Kyla:Yes. Yes I do. I go through block cause I would sometimes they'd have to move it on to the next day if I haven't completed everything in a day. The reason sometimes why I don't complete everything in the day is that I've over tasked myself. 

Emilia:Yeah. And that's a big learning for the next day then. Really? 

Kyla:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you want to complete those tasks with quality, with that output that you want. You just don't want to tick boxes everyday. Especially if you're responding to client emails or sending out things or connecting with your community. You don't want it to be just a tick box. You want to have some heart in there as well. 

Emilia: Yeah. Yeah. And what I also do is I have a priority list. So I have my number one task that I would do first and I write down usually how much time I want to spend on each task.

So I might down 30 minutes. Social Media, yes, 30 minutes emails and then two hours client work or something like that. 

Kyla: And what’s really got me more motivated and more sort of productive in the morning is that leaving the response of my emails to the afternoon because I do some business activities first thing in the morning. I have a lot more energy first thing in the morning. And it does sometimes involve emails cause it might be emailing proposals or following back up with clients. But just responding to like general emails or people's questions. I leave it to the afternoon. So I just think of, I mean it sounds quite particular, but I think about income generating activities in the morning and then everything else in the afternoon or even the evening.

Celebrate your success!

Emilia: That's actually a good point of staying motivated, right? Because you feel you've been productive because you're just answering emails.  It doesn't feel that you're not doing anything for your business. 

So which brings us to our next point, which is really closely related to goal setting and that is, celebrate your successes. So really celebrate when you actually reach the goal or you you achieve something. And  that doesn't appear so big to you that is maybe smaller. But it's, it's an important step and it's something important for yourself. And I think it's so common that we reach a milestone, which we've worked on for a long time and then we forget to celebrate it. We forget that it actually was hard work. We just take it for granted once we reached it, and I think it's so important that we celebrated. Because how long do we usually celebrate our success? Maybe five minutes nowadays?

Kyla: And women do this a lot more than men. But I’m going to throw it out there...men toot their horns more than women do.

Yeah, and I think that, I don't know, it comes from that sort of growing up or how we're taught as young girls, but we have to celebrate just the little things of being able to achieve. Your goals or aspirations, whether they are business or whether they are personal as well.

Emilia:    Yes, I will definitely. All of this is also for the personal life and I think you can even plan this little celebration. So let's say you set yourself a goal and then you say, once I reached this goal, I'm going to have a massage or I'm going to go out with friends or I'm going to have a glass of wine or whatever it is that you like. You can actually plan for this little celebration because then when you think you're toasting with your partner that you've achieved this step and makes it more memorable.

Kyla: Yeah.

Emilia:    Yeah, exactly. You look forward to it.

Kyla: Yeah.. So what does success that you have celebrated lately?

Emilia:    That's a good question. Kyla. Yeah. I've, I think I've celebrated  that I sold out my next workshop for ‘How to start a website with Squarespace’  which is happening in the Dubai. I think I was surprised how quickly I sold out cause last time it was a lot more hard work. And honestly in the beginning, I also didn't really recognize this. But then I thought actually this is fantastic and I should take time to let it sink in and be happy about it and celebrate that.

Kyla:Yeah. Cause 12 months ago, you didn't think that you would be doing that? 

Emilia: Yeah, What about you? 

Kyla: So this podcast obviously, I never thought I'll do a podcast. Also just celebrating that there's just been a few celebrations and actually it's more being client focused. Cause I've had a few clients who have started their business. I've had one client who is now transitioning a very senior management role overseas. So sometimes I take the celebrations from my clients as well because in the end, it's sort of celebration of me as well because I've helped them get to that stage. So there's been those little celebrations. I have expanded my oils business and getting more  customers there.

So that's been exciting. That's been a huge learning curve. My goodness. Talk about failures. But it's been, yeah, it's been exciting. So basically even just the legal things isn't it? 

Emilia: And what do you do to celebrate? Something specific?

Kyla:I like to go out to dinner or go on have like my nails done or what you can take some permission to just take some time in the morning off. So yeah, especially to like go back to my exercise, I haven't been more like with the Christmas thing, I had pneumonia. So like going back to being out to like exercise, being able to breath has been been a celebration of this.

Partnering with like-minded individuals or groups, or engaging a coach or mentor to introduce accountability

Emilia: So I our next tip is actually having an accountability partner,. If you have been following me,  I talk about it a lot because it really has helped me personally a lot. I started having an accountability partner about two years ago I think. Yeah. And she's actually, I've never met her, she's an Australian as well. I attract these Australian women and I talked to her on a regular basis every two weeks. And it has really helped me to stay focused and I tell her about the task or goal that I want to achieve within the next two weeks before we talk again. And it puts a little bit of pressure on me that I would actually want to achieve it, to be able to tell her and vice versa. 

And then sometimes we exchanged text messages and say, how's it going? How are you working on this and so on. And it really helps. It's also nice that she's in the same industry. She's also a website designer. So she ended up, we understand each other and not that we are not competitors at all at all because she's a Wordpress designer.

I'm as Squarespace design and she's in Australia and I'm in Dubai ,so which is really, really nice. But I think it doesn't matter whether it's somebody in the same industry, it just needs to be somebody like minded. 

Kyla:I think so too. Yeah. 

Emilia: You could have your husband, for example. Actually you can have anybody as an accountability partner, you can just tell them that this is what you want to work on. This is what you expect from them. But it does help if it's a like minded person. 

Kyla: I mean I think it can be somebody who you partnered with as a business partner or  like bestie or stuff like that you have or it can be like a paid coach or a paid mentor or a paid coaching program like a business coaching program. You know, maybe a program that you joined to up skill yourself and you could partner with somebody within that group. Yea I think it has to be somebody who wants this wants to achieve the goal that you want to achieve as far as you know, wanting to grow.

Cause I think if you have a person who's not motivated it to be like, okay I really want to grow this year when I show up and take ownership, will you partner with me so we can, we can achieve this and you can keep me accountable.

Emilia:    Yeah. Because if they have the same motivation, intrinsic motivation. They will push you more as well.. And it's good -  try it. But it's really good if I get sometimes text messages from Isa asking me how this and this is going. And I feel like, oh my God, I haven't worked on it. You know, it's good. It keeps me motivated again to go back to my original task. Maybe because I got sidetracked or something. It's really good. And you know what? Another way that I do, sometimes I announced something on social media what I’m working on. I make everybody my accountability partner because I do know, and that's actually for everything. It doesn't only need to be for business, it can be for my triathlon training or whatever because I know that at some 1 of you, or we'll come back to me and ask me, so how is this and this going? And then I'm like, oh yeah, hmm. Well I haven't even worked on it. So it really, I think that really, that really helps just announcing it publicly.

Kyla:  It's a bit like what we did at the end of last year when we joined Rachel Hollis's last 90 days. That's for, we're not talking about like a group program. It doesn't have to be paid. Even that was completely free by accountability.

Everyone you could see on social media, you're all joining in with, you know, drinking more water, exercising, giving up as a food product that they should be eating and that's a good way to keep you on track and focused as well. 

Emilia: Yeah, and something that I'm doing that came out of that for me was like, even though I'm super focused, these five points were a bit too much for me. So I developed my own system for this year, I would say because I have two goals per month or two things per month that I want to do every day. For example, in January it was, I wanted to exercise every day and I didn't want to drink any alcohol or eat chocolate and I see, I announced this via my email list even. I announced it on social media and it was successful for me. It puts a bit more pressure on me and it was harder than I thought it would be. I succeeded. Yeah. So I'm doing two things, two new things every month now for this year. 

Kyla: Yeah. 

Emilia: Which is great.

Kyla: So you to think about not necessarily the same things, but think about what you want to give up or maybe there's something that you want to even add or to your scheduling your day routine, you know, each month I really do think it helps the aim, the motivation but keeping focused but also like achieving other goals. You've been narrowed down in your vision of what you want each month. And I think when you go, and I hear a lot of people going at the moment, oh my gosh, it's the end of February. Tomorrow. That's it. That's all I've been hearing all week.

We're heading into March, that third month, they're 2019 and people are still floating around, which is completely normal, but it's his focus. So he's going to be the middle of the year, Christmas and update free up that damn tree and then it will be the new year. Just like that. 

And then that carries onto them keeping continuously inspired. 

Getting inspired

Emilia: So as a last resort, if your motivation is down, find a way that inspires you, so for example, listening to great podcasts and I love somebody that always inspires me or reading a good book or putting on some music, going for a walk, even going out to some friends and celebrate, you know, that's all inspiration from me. Yeah. That's what I use. 

Kyla: And even like now, we work from home, so if you're working in an office like it is in a home office or you're working in an area of your house that you've designed is your office and it changing up the location, going to a coworking space, going to a cafe just sitting outside of it's a lovely day and you know, working on your computer that way we will help inspire some creative outlet as well. Yet keep some more sort of fuse to your business if you meet other people.

Emilia: Like minded people again. Yeah. For example, at a coworking space, or  networking, then that gives you inspiration. Listening to other people, how they are doing things, getting new ideas that inspires me.

Kyla: Yeah, definitely and watching who you're surrounding yourself with.    We talk about this a lot, like who you're surrounding yourself with is so key to your inner motivation as well. If you're hanging with people who are negative or have different thoughts or I'm just not on the same wavelength as you have of what you want to hear. You want to grow as a person as well as your business, then you have to get a little bit serious about who you're surrounding yourself with and even to the point of, you know, giving it a little bit of a break with them for a little while and it might seem harsh but necessary at the end of the day if you want to achieve what you want to achieve. 

Emilia: Yeah. The same is true for people that you follow on social.I mean it can really drag you down. Sometimes everybody says it and it's quite obvious, but also follow only those people that actually inspire you.

Maybe like for example, for me, a friend of mine in Humberg really inspires me to keep on going. I don't think she knows it, but she's also a business owner and I think it's fantastic what she does and how she does it. And now she's sharing it more and more on social media. And that inspires me. So even though she's doing something completely different. 

Kyla: Yeah, that's amazing. That's great. 

Emilia: And by the way, all of these things, all these six tips that we use are not only for your business but also for anything else in life. So for example, being a mum, I mean this podcast is for moms and business and I think also the first tip, remember what your why is really important sometimes for being a mom. Because if you are stressed and overwhelmed and all the kids are screaming and fighting and nothing is working the way you want with your kids, you thought they would be like, oh, calm and relaxed and get on and  played together and they're not listening. 

I remember, I mean I'm in that situation a lot, obviously focus. And then I remember why, my why, why I wanted to have four kids in a big family and why I love it. And I see my vision, my personal vision for this family again. I see us, all of us with me being old with my grandchildren, all of us sitting on one big table for Christmas for example. And then I'm thinking, okay, this is why I wanted this. Why, that is why I had four kids. And it really helps me, you know, get going and being a better mom.

Kyla:I like that comparison. I'm not just looking at the business side and looking at these sorts of personal sense and you can split it into two areas. Your Business and your personal life and that sort of tapping into the same why. Things that are going crazy in the house, why this sort of dream is there and has happened. So, absolutely. 

Emilia:    I think you could even split it up even more. You can say business and then you can split your personal life, for example, into health, health, kids, marriage,relationship, friends. Break it up into these steps.

Kyla: ...you can break down the steps.

Emilia:    And it's, I think if I'm looking now we have a list here in front of us, and I'm looking at all these tips. It's true for every single thing. Forget about failures. It's also true. Forget about what you did wrong with your kids. Strive to do it better the next time. 

Kyla: Yeah, absolutely. In the same, celebrating the little successes. I mean, there was a time that I was celebrating that McKinsey wasn't getting sick every two weeks. So yeah, then she wasn't off and my husband and I weren't juggling who should stay home with her. We  got her healthy and well, and that was seriously, that was sometimes every two weeks. That was just such a success. So that's special. Yeah. So amazing.

Well, I have enjoyed this conversation too. 

Emilia: Yeah, me too. Yes. Thank you so much.

Kyla: We will be back together, maybe in a couple of episodes, but I think from here on we've got some amazing special guests coming up in interviews, either Emilia or myself. I go in to do what about social media or and you know how to build a brand and look.

Emilia: How to stay consistent, and some great other stuff. Yes, absolutely. Some other moms that we interviewed.

Kyla: Absolutely. 

Emilia: And just to quickly recap, our ways to stay motivated:

  • Remember your why and your vision.

  • Forget about your failures and learn from them. 

  • Set your goals.

  • Celebrate your success.

  • Have an accountability partner.

  • And find your personal inspiration.

Kyla: Thank you so much for joining us. If you love this podcast, please leave us a review or rating and holds up as the other people find out as much.

Emilia:    And until next time, Bye, bye.


Connect with Emilia and Kyla

Emilia Ohrtmann
Website Designer & Consultant
Website: www.emiliaohrtmann.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/emiliaohrtmann
Facebook: www.facebook.com/emiliaohrtmannco
Youtube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCfo4H-IQ91K7WrjbOwn34ig
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/emiliaohrtmann

Kyla Neill
Business Coach + Mentor
Website: www.succeedinginheels.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/succeedinginheels
Facebook: www.facebook.com/succeedinginheels